Bikinis, Bulges and Balls

Kick This: "Hey, at least you guys are having fun if you're not winning."
Ball Movement: "Hey, at least you guys are winning if you're not having any fun."

Ball Movement again took to the hallowed kickball grounds on Wednesday night, this time to go head-to-head with old friends Kick This. (It was from a team composed of many of the current members of Kick This that Ball Movement was forged some years ago.)

Showing their usual high level of comradery, members of the Movement arrived well-adorned for beach night. Some pre-game grilling and a refreshing dip in the swimming pool before the game, as well as some distinctly under-dressed male Ball Movers, set the tone for a raucous evening of kicking balls.

On a sidenote, be warned, kickballers... the po-po will sit in their car on the sidewalk at Longfellow (undoubtedly with the a/c running) for innings on end, just waiting for you to screw up and *mistakenly* retrieve a beer from your cooler. ("Shoot! Who put this in here? I must have grabbed the wrong cooler and left the one with all my Pepsi in at home!") No Ball Mover made such a mistake on Wednesday, but it could easily happen. Be careful out there, I don't think there's a kickball diamond at the detox center.

Anyway, on to the rundown... Things got off to an unpleasant start with the ref enforcing some obscure CSC kickball bylaw that says all players must wear a shirt. For two male players wearing a bikini top and nothing but a Speedo, respectively, this meant a return to the bench for a t-shirt. Completely disappointing. Let's just say things did not improve with ump-relations during the rest of the game. Message to CSC: We play kickball to have fun. It would be nice if the umps would

a) have some fun too
b) consistently enforce rules, both during the course of one game and the course of one season

Our ref last week was awesome. We :heart: that guy. Nonetheless, he did tell us right off the bat that he wouldn't be enforcing bunting rules. What?! "Bunting is for bitches" is nothing less than our mantra, our core ethic, the basis of our entire kickball value system. Anyway, whatever, that guy was still all right.

This week, our very own Becca moved a ball well PAST third base, slowly, but fair. It was only after the Kick This player at third decided not to field the kick that the ump called "bunt." WHAT?!

Of course, our buddies Kick This had so many half-hearted attempts of their own that it was suggested they should be renamed "Bunt This," but not a one of those was called as such.

But hey, it's just kickball, right? On with the recap.

Ball Movement looked great in the field on Wednesday. Finally. Making plays, showing that ol' timey hustle, throwing, catching and so forth. If only we could get some folks on home. The first few innings were pretty tight with nearly three-up, three-down innings from both benches. Like North Korean test missiles, Kick This's balls dropped again and again into the sea of our infield and the waiting arms of a Ball Mover. Or, like a certain sitting President, they blustered on despite plummeting poll numbers.

Around the middle of the game, some true colors emerged as our bikini-clad, base-running Wade was molested, and nearly knocked unconscious, by an overly-aggressive Kick This second baseman. Of course, old Reffie McGetsomeglassesforGod'ssake called the disoriented Wader Tot out. Hey, Mike Tyson: expect the bill for that concussion in the mail. You weren't throwing those elbows especially hard because you were confused about how the sight of Wade in a bikini made you feel, were you? Were you??

And so forth.

When all was said and done, Ball Movement maintained their perfect record and had a good time doing it. Kick This proved to be worthy adversaries, though a few of their members could benefit from reviewing the first two principles of CSC Summer Co-ed Kickball:

#1) It's just kickball.
#2) It's just kickball.

Almost done here, but I'm just not sure if I made my point regarding the refereering situation (or lack thereof) yet. We pay CSC Sports a tidy chunk of change to play kickball. CSC in turn pays some randoms $50 a night to referee kickball games. So far this year, we've played three games. The first game was prematurely aborted because we fell too far behind. Ball Movement don't care! Hell, those friendly chaps from BYOB even gave us some runs so we could keep playing. Nonetheless, we only got 5 innings out of that game. Boo. Following week: awesome, except for the "bunt all you want" declaration. This week, boo.

'Til next week, fans, friends and family.

***

Ball Movement again captured their performance on video. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jypU2mDEi70

If that makes ya dizzy, there's also some still images here:

http://flickr.com/photos/the_dharma_bum/184069985/
http://flickr.com/photos/the_dharma_bum/184069956/
http://flickr.com/photos/the_dharma_bum/184069915/