Congratulations to Ballbusters

Take a close look at this, the record for league champs Ballbusters (who ended the season with a 9-0-1 record):



Which team after Bad Azz Ballerz in that estimable record came closest to Ballbusters in a game?

That's right. Ball Movement. The little team that could.

ps - condolenscences to IvyPlus... appears you got that elusive "W" in your record, but got it via forfeiting. We know, we know, it's a bitter pill to swallow. We will be happy to help punish any no-showing, forfeiting, shoe-piddling little twerps as needed next summer.

The Movement 2006

So Long, Farewell

So, it's over. A big thumbs-down to Big Kickers for not even showing up to Ball Movement's final game. We feel robbed, and because of that, we've cased several of your houses and will rob you, not of kickball-field glory, but of jewelry, electronics and other valuables.

No, seriously. We were talking with our ref (who, making history, actually took a few kicks while we milled around waiting for an opponent) and agreed that teams who don't show to games should be fined in beer. You owe us a case or two, Kickers.

The good folks of Short Bus were kind enough to get together a game and give the Movement some action. Thanks! We like you guys.

Once our allotted time on the field came to an end, another season come and gone, we stuck around to root on Short Bus as they went up against We've Got the Runs. Mostly we wanted to see if Brandon is always such a dick.

We didn't really get to discover if he is or not, because We've Got the Runs only mustered about six players and forfeited their game too. Because of the failure of We've Got the Runs to field a full team, their playoff hopes were dashed. What a way to end a season, eh? Not with a bang, but with a whimper. Yet, I wonder how much we should blame the missing members... Think about it: Brandon was there, most of the rest of the team wasn't.

Coincidence?

Yeah, keep telling yourselves that.

For the record, the Movement has never forfeited a single game. It's actually probably a worse offense than bunting in our book, and that's saying something.

If bunting is for bitches, forfeiting is for fu... nevermind, that's just taking alliteration a little too far.

The Movement had a great time this season. We'd love it if the 6:00 game time was eliminated and we could play all our games at Bassett's Creek. Thanks for the memories all y'all.

AHHH! Censorship!

Kickball should be for good, clean fun (if slightly, happily intoxicated).

Brandon is the problem. I was just repeating what he said.

INAPPROPRIATE POSTINIG WARNING

By: Pat

THIS SPACE IS FOR CLEAN, FUN ENTERMAINMENT ONLY. THANKS.

To Brandon

Ball Movement presents here for the gentle reader's judgement some of the quotes and incidents from last night's contest. All quotes are attributed to one Brandon, We've Got the Runs' weak link and a fine kickball gentleman if there ever was one, unless otherwise noted.

"Fuck you."

"You're talking trash to the wrong fucking people!"

"I don't know you! I don't know you!"

"It's just rubber," shortly after a fine Hershey Squirt waited until 100 lb. Audrey was within range -- when he could have easily gotten the out by stepping on the bag -- and then fired away with the ball full blast at her chest from 10 feet away. She just asked him if that was really necessary.

"That's fucking bullshit. That's fucking bullshit."

"You guys are going to win," Ball Movement to The Shits after they started spazzing about "rounding first" or some other crap in the very first inning. Seriously, you don't have to get obsessed with technicalities to best the Movement at kickball.

"Why did he spill beer if he wasn't hit?" Complaining about missing a throw at Palmer as he headed for second, thinking that because some beer sloshed out of his cup it went without saying that the ball hit him.

"Because he was running with a beer," Ball Movement.

"Yeah, and he didn't get hit by the ball. He didn't get hit by the ball." After Ball Movement's MVP Laura caught yet another of Brandon's kicks and he went back to the bench to continue spazzing about Palmer being safe on second during the Movement's previous up.

"Brandon, you got beat bad by a girl," Ball Movement to Brandon as he wept on the bench after the play described above.

This seems like a good time to note that Brandon, oh, Brandon, never once got on bag. Flied out every up. Hmm...

"What's so fun about dropping balls?" After the Movement explained that we were out there primarily to have fun.

"What's so fun about being a dumbass?" Ball Movement.

"Oh fuck you, you ducked," after Jessop slid into second base and the throw narrowly missed his head. Not only was he purely safe, but some fine Squirt accused him of ducking so as to try to get hit in the head. I mean... wTF?

"What's the score?" The 5-1 'Runs inbetween innings as the 0-6 Movement nearly took the lead.

Brandon, it is well-established that there's nothing more unpleasant than an angry drunk. Last night we discovered that there is something uglier to behold: an angry *kickball* drunk.

Seriously: You. Are. A. Dick.

To the rest of the 'Runs... we had some issues, there was contention, to the extent that the Movement was responsible for any escalation: we apologize. It was good to see that most of you could let by-gones be ball-gones and do us the simple honor of shaking hands and giving us the old "good game" after it was all said-and-done while Butthead moped on the bench. Some of the guys that we weren't so sure about early in the game turned out to be decent dudes: joining us on the high road and mellowing it out a little. You might think about ditching your wristband-clad, 'roid-raging Barry Bonds wannabe.

And seriously, how goddamn hilarious is it that B-money didn't even get on base *once*? Hell... *I* got on base and that's rare. Even a really pleasant dark-haired 'Run chick who got on first said to me, "I never get on base!" Note: she was on base when she said that. But Brandon either choked from being such an asshole, or he just sucks! Oh, that shit is rich.

See you at the Credit Union, B...

---

This wouldn't be a Ball Movement write-up without a mention of the ump: you were pretty cool, man. You kept it level-headed and mellow through everything and made consistent, fair calls. Word!

Sara... Sara.... Sara....

Or is it "Sarah" with an "h?" Ah, who knows...

Thanks goes to the kickballers of Fowl Balls for a great game yesterday evening. Ball Movement thoroughly enjoyed the contest and wishes you well... even you, "Big Hat Guy."

And Neo: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Seriously, that was an amazing catch at third.

Anyway, y'all gotta admit the Movement put up a hell of a fight, eh? We blame our loss on one thing and one thing only: the ump. If we coulda got a single fair call out of that "Cock" (as in the once-great Fightin' Cocks), we mighta stood a chance. His blindness toward our plight at first base was especially offensive.

Even with the heat and the ump-adversity, we had a lot of fun and ain't that what it's all about? Thanks for the memories, Fowlies.

Sara...

Pre-Dendum

*** Pre-dendum... ? ****

Forgive my beer-y eyes. I was almost positive Becca's ball went right past third, though the alcohol-induced double vision I was experiencing at that stage may have confused me. It must have passed in front of the real third, and gone past my hallucinated base. That one will have to go in disputed infamy, because plenty of us saw it roll right over third base, while the ref and most of Kick This, miles away, called it a bunt before it crossed the line, either in front of or behind third.

Ball Movement intentionally bunting???? Never. Let's hear a name or at least a cup size by way of description. If tried and convicted, such a player will be banned forever from the ranks of the Movement, or at least forced to bring beer for everyone next week.

Certainly most refs relay their interpretation of the rules, but I still think CSC could find the time to decree a little somethin' somethin' so we're at least playing the same game from week-to-week. If there isn't consistency, what's the point in even having a ref there?

The dude planting a foot and throwing shoulders and elbows on second was outta line. 'Nuff said. Wade's a lover, not a fighter.

Obviously, Kick This is a team that has fun playing. There were a few grumpy dudes who refused to even crack a smile for nine whole innings, but you guys are a blast to play and will always be considered amigos of the Movement. And yeah yeah, it's competitive. It's only competition that draws out the high level of play demonstrated by Ball Movement! But seriously, there's an A league and a B league this year, the discrepancy in numbers of teams in A and B sure says something... And one of those words starts with "sand" and ends with "bagging."

Lastly... sorry if the Movement came off overly-bitchy or harsh in that write-up. If I couldn't talk some totally biased smack in these recaps, what would I write about??? You should see some of the things that were written about the missing Fightin' Cocks and Bulldogz last summer! No offense intended toward the good folks of Kick This. Enjoy the rest of the season!